Scene Detail
"I can't be unselfish where you're concerned. I need you with me."
| From: The Surface of the World |
| Gender |
Age |
Character Name |
| Male |
20's |
NICHOLAS DRAPER |
Setup:
Nicholas is in the middle of a fight with his lover Seth. The two of them have known one another almost all their lives and have been together romantically since high school. When Nicholas’ mother died several years ago, Seth helped Nicholas through a rough time. Seth has since joined the Marines, and the two years of long-distance separation and secrecy have put a strain on their relationship. Now Nicholas’ father, who never approved of Seth, has died. Seth has returned to help again, but also has shared the news he is thinking of re-enlisting. Seth is trying to get Nicholas to consider leaving his family home and living with Seth wherever he might be stationed.
(This monologue is set to be published by Smith and Kraus Publishers, Inc. in a collection of monologues for men in their 20s as part of their "Audition Arsenal - 101 Monologues By Type, 2 Minutes and Under" series in Spring 2005. More details on the publication as I receive them. Smith and Kraus can currently be found at www.smithkraus.com, with a new website www.smithandkraus.com to be unveiled in the near future)
(The full scene which includes this monologue is also available for viewing - the quote link is "You're not a light fixture! You're not a piece of furniture that's been nailed to the floor! You can walk out the door anytime you want to. And if you loved me, you would.")
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Monologuecopyright 1999 by Matthew A. Everett
(Version of the monologue set for publication by Smith and Kraus in Spring 2005 is below...)
NICHOLAS
Say I leave here? What am I doing it for? For you? What about us, Seth? What is this doing for us? I get out from under my parents' roof, I leave Terre Haute and follow you -- for what? We still can't be open. If you stay in the Marines, nothing changes! Seth, you brought me out. You're the reason I know who I am. I can't go back, not even for you. If you’re just putting on a uniform for my dad’s sake, he’s dead! You can stop trying to impress him! And you don't have to impress me. You pulled my heart out of my chest and showed it to me, and I lived. Even if you walk out of my life tomorrow -- and God, I hope that's not what we're talking about here but even if you did -- you have marked me for life. I can't be unselfish where you're concerned. I need you with me! As long as you’re a Marine, I can't visit you. I can't see you. I can't touch you. I can't hold you. I can't even write you! All I have, all that's real, are the couple of times a year you manage to get away from the military. And come back here. Occasional visits. That's not a real relationship, it's a distant cousin! The kind of cousin you only see at christenings, weddings and funerals. Well, guess what?! I ain't having kids, this country won't let us get married and I'm fresh out of parents to bury for you!
(Version taken directly from the text of the playscript is below...)
NICHOLAS
Say I leave here? What am I doing it for? For you? What about us? What is this doing for us? I get out from under my parents' roof, I leave Terre Haute and follow you -- for what? We still can't be open, nothing changes. You brought me out. You're the reason I know who I am. I can't go back, not even for you. My Dad's dead. You can stop trying to impress him. And you don't have to impress me. You pulled my heart out of my chest and showed it to me, and I lived. Even if you walk out of my life tomorrow -- and God, I hope that's not what we're talking about here but even if you did -- you have marked me for life.
I can't be unselfish where you're concerned. I need you with me.
I can't visit you. I can't see you. I can't touch you. I can't hold you. I can't even write you! All I have, all that's real, is when you get a chance to get away from there, from them. And come back here. Occasional visits. That's not a real relationship, it's a distant cousin. The kind of cousin you only see at christenings, weddings and funerals. Well, guess what?! I ain't having kids, this country won't let us get married and I'm fresh out of parents to bury for you!
copyright 1999 by Matthew A. Everett
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