Scene Detail
"If I could define sex, I wouldn't need to give you a hundred dollars."
| From: The Bronze Bitch Flies At Noon | | 2 Characters |
| Gender |
Age |
Character Name |
| Male |
20's |
DAVID |
| Male |
20's |
JONATHAN |
Setup:
This is the very start of the play. Read on...
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The full script of "The Bronze Bitch Flies At Noon" is available for purchase as part of "Short Plays, Volume 1" (in hard copy or download form) at
http://www.lulu.com/product/paperback/short-plays-volume-1/5949581
Part of Matthew' online script store
http://stores.lulu.com/matthewaeverett
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Scenecopyright 1998 by Matthew A. Everett
The room - a college chemistry lab classroom - is moonlit and in it stands JONATHAN, gangly and bookish, in his early twenties, holding a set of keys and a small brown paper bag.
He waits, nervous.
After a moment, there is a knock at the door to the lab, which startles him. He hesitates.
The knock comes again, more insistent. JONATHAN works up his courage and goes to the door.
JONATHAN
David?
DAVID
(beyond the door, impatient)
Yeah.
JONATHAN lets DAVID in.
DAVID enters quickly. He is also in his early twenties, an athletic young man in a fraternity T-shirt.
After DAVID is in, JONATHAN shuts the door, a little too loudly for DAVID's liking.
DAVID (continued)
Shhh.
DAVID goes to the door and checks out the hall beyond, then closes the door, quietly.
DAVID
OK. We got twenty til the security guy gets back around this way.
JONATHAN
Twenty minutes.
DAVID
Half hour tops. If we're quiet.
Pause.
JONATHAN
So.
DAVID
Crime of the scene, scene of the crime.
JONATHAN
Excuse me?
DAVID
Here. Chem lab.
JONATHAN
Place where we --
DAVID
Where you --
JONATHAN
Met.
DAVID
Decided you wanted to --
JONATHAN
Partners.
DAVID
Lab partners.
JONATHAN
Experimenting.
DAVID
Chemicals only.
JONATHAN
Til --
DAVID
Tonight.
Pause. They look at each other.
JONATHAN
So.
DAVID
A hundred dollar bill. For --
JONATHAN
For -- sex.
DAVID
Define sex.
JONATHAN
If I could define sex, I wouldn't need to give you a hundred dollars.
DAVID
Where's the money?
JONATHAN
A safe place.
DAVID
Cash on delivery.
JONATHAN
Something like that.
DAVID
Where'd you get a hundred dollar bill from anyway?
JONATHAN
My parents. Graduation present. They told me to get -- something I wanted.
DAVID
Oh.
JONATHAN
(quick to add)
But you know it's basically just the whole virgin thing.
DAVID
What whole virgin thing?
JONATHAN
A guy's not supposed to graduate from college without -- you know --
DAVID
Doing it.
JONATHAN
Right. It's -- embarrassing.
DAVID
You think you'll be the only one to put on a cap and gown who didn't lose his cherry before he left the dorm?
JONATHAN
I'm the only one who escaped my high school prom untouched. This is getting pathetic.
And then there's the statue outside the administration building.
DAVID
You mean the bronze bitch?
JONATHAN
Yeah.
DAVID
You don't believe in that, do you?
JONATHAN
Well --
DAVID
The statue just up and flies away the first time a virgin graduates from this college?
JONATHAN
Well, when you say it that way --
DAVID
Urban legend.
JONATHAN
If you can call this place urban.
DAVID
Whatever.
JONATHAN
So you don't -- ?
DAVID
It's a story you use to get into a girl's pants or shame your frat pledge into seeing a hooker. But it's fiction. I mean, it works sometimes, but still --
JONATHAN
How do you know?
DAVID
You can't be the first --
JONATHAN
Well, how do you know? I mean, are you?
DAVID
What?
JONATHAN
Still a -- ?
DAVID
Hell no.
JONATHAN
See?
DAVID
So this is just a business transaction. You don't -- like me.
JONATHAN
(pause)
If I'm killing two birds with one stone, what's it matter to you?
DAVID
(pause)
Why me?
JONATHAN
Why not you?
DAVID
I mean, what about me made you think -- ? 'Cause I got a girlfriend.
JONATHAN
Nora. I know. I've seen her.
DAVID
And we -- you know --
JONATHAN
None of my business.
DAVID
All the time.
JONATHAN
OK, OK, I get the picture.
DAVID
I'm just saying --
JONATHAN
It's not because I thought you -- or that you seemed -- it's just, you know, you're --
DAVID
What?
JONATHAN
Sexy.
DAVID
Really?
JONATHAN
What do you mean, 'really'?
DAVID
I mean, what did you see? What about me do you think is--?
JONATHAN
I don't know. Nothing specific. You just -- are. I mean, what does Nora think? There must be certain things about you she --
DAVID
You don't talk about that stuff.
JONATHAN
Why not?
DAVID
It's either there or it's not, you know.
JONATHAN
It's just there must be something --
DAVID
Is there anything --
JONATHAN
-- you know, that's either --
DAVID
-- you don't talk about?
JONATHAN
-- there or not there, right?
DAVID
This is probably part of your problem.
JONATHAN
What?
DAVID
The talking thing. I mean, do you ever just do anything?
JONATHAN
Like -- ?
DAVID
On a dare. Money or no money. Someone claims you wouldn't be able to kiss a dog on the mouth or grab an underclassman in the shower just to freak him out or drop your pants in the parking lot after a game --
JONATHAN
Or walk up to a guy and offer him --
DAVID
Yeah, but how long did you plot this -- I mean, the keys and --
JONATHAN
Being a good student has its perks.
DAVID
Only if you take advantage, push the limit. How long was that hundred dollar bill sitting in your wallet? You don't wait til the last moment. You make your moment. Take it. Go for it. Like you might not get another. 'Cause you might not.
JONATHAN
Not all of us are --
DAVID
Not talkin' about all of us. You. Just you.
JONATHAN
The way you hold her hand.
DAVID
My girlfriend.
JONATHAN
Nora. Yeah.
DAVID
What about it?
JONATHAN
It's sexy. You don't grab her or hold on too tight, but you're not trying to get away either. It's just -- comfortable. Your fingers -- the two of you, the fingers knit together. You're close to each other or you're roaming all spread out but never quite let go. Like it's a part of you. Like breathing.
DAVID takes JONATHAN's hand.
DAVID
You're paying me to do a lot more than just hold your hand.
JONATHAN
Well, yeah, but --
DAVID
Good -- I mean, that'd be almost too easy -- gettin' paid a hundred for just --
JONATHAN
You asked what I thought was --
DAVID
-- holding your hand.
JONATHAN
-- sexy.
DAVID
I'd be disappointed in you.
JONATHAN
Wouldn't want that.
copyright 1998 by Matthew A. Everett
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